Oh, wait, no way, you're kidding, he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?

More dark thoughts from grading:

You know why Eminem got in so much trouble for The Marshall Mathers LP?  It wasn't for his violent lyrics, or for the things he said about women and gays.  As he said in "White America" (first song on The Eminem Show):

So now I'm catchin' the flack from these activists when they raggin'
Actin' like I'm the first rapper to smack a bitch and say "faggot"?
Shit!

No, I believe that he got in trouble for something far more offensive:

When a dude's gettin' bullied and shoots up his school
And they blame it on Marilyn [Manson] and the heroin
Where were the parents at?

As soon as he said that, he guaranteed himself a Congressional investigation.  Nobody wants to hear that.  We want to blame Marilyn Manson for troubled youths, not parents.  Or, nowadays I guess we want to blame Miley Cyrus for pregnancy and STDs among teenagers, because apparently that was the first time that a starlet ever shook her ass on camera, and apparently teens never had sex before that.  (Or maybe it was Janet Jackson's nipple that started teenagers having sex.  I'm not entirely sure.)

Anyway, I'm going to say right here, right now, that the reason I'm so frustrated with my students is that their parents didn't make them read enough.  They figured it was "too hard" to make their kids do homework.  They were more interested in pushing their kids to excel in sports than they were in making their kids read.  Seriously, it's amazing how invested suburban parents are in sports.  A lot of these kids graduate from high school unable to write a grammatically correct sentence or do algebra, but they can all kick a soccer ball.

Go ahead, hold Congressional hearings about what I just wrote.  I don't care.  As the great poet said:

To all the people I've offended, ya fuck you too
Every time I reminisce, yo I miss my past
But I still don't give a fuck, y'all can kiss my ass